REAL TALK | I've been a terrible friend.

So I'm here to lay it all out on the line, tell on myself, and just make a public apology.  I've really been a terrible friend.

One thing that people don't think to tell you as you grow up is sometimes keeping friendships gets harder and harder.  I mean, think about it.  From elementary to high school, we are afforded the opportunity to make friends because we have classmates with whom we are forced to not only be in class, but also work with, grow up with, experience life with... you get the point, because you've probably been there!  Then if you so choose, you attend college.  Wait, we don't have built in friends?!  No one taught me how to not be awkward when introducing myself to random strangers... ADULT strangers albeit... and make friends.  Did I miss this class, or was it a party I wasn't invited to?  This is absolute insanity.  Perhaps I am the only one who suffered through this my first few months of college, but that's okay... I'm being an open book here.

Then, as lucky would have it, you make some friends.  Classmates, roommates, people you meet at clubs or events you involve yourself in or social gatherings.  Needless to say, somehow the friendships manage to messily fall together... and surprisingly end up being some (not all, but some) of the closest friendships you'll have into the rest of your adult life.  Then... you walk that stage one more time and graduate college.  Time to really grow up and adult!  WHAT?!!?

So fast forward a bit, and I'll turn the verbiage more personalized... because this may be more truly just me... ha!  I got married in college, which immediately (and unbeknownst to me) placed me into a different "life stage" category.  In my mind, I was still just a 21 year old who happened to have a husband and still wanted to hang with my single friends like it wasn't a big deal.  To some, it truly wasn't a big deal.  To others, it completely altered our friendship.  Not because I had done anything wrong, but because I was in a different "life stage".  Are you following me?  Fast forward again and in October 2012 I became a mom!  Don't get me wrong, my friends who had stuck it out with me this far were super excited for me!  I mean, c'mon... babies are so cute, right?  Such an exciting time, growing family, etc.  But... guess what?  A new "life stage".  Which, as before, meant lost and strained friendships... which stunk!!!

So here we are now.  September 2017.  I've been married more than 10 years.  I have a four year old, who is turning five next month, and just started preschool (talk about crazy times!).  Oh, and I have a business that's just over two years old.  As life does, I have grown up, moved on, changed jobs, etc.  You get the picture.  I'm pretty sure if, at this point, you're still reading, you know exactly what I'm talking about.  You get to a point in your life where you are so busy and overwhelmed with YOU and what you have going on that your friends who, again, have stuck around through all of your "life stages" chat on the phone with you less and go more to text messages.  It's quicker, right?  And who likes talking on the phone?  Then you notice that the text messages become fewer and fewer with longer frames of time between conversations.  In fact, when you look in your phone, your last few phone calls are not to friends at all and are, in fact, "needed to happen" type calls and your most recent text messages are, again, "needed to happen" type texts.

This is where I feel like I have hit in my life.  I have been so engulfed in my own life and my own strife that I have been a terrible friend.  I have been blessed with four best friends.  My best friends, I mean they KNOW me.  One lives in Ohio and has recently become a mom herself.  Another lives in the Chicagoland area and is loving fostering pups of all kinds (which, btw, they are all ADORABLE).  Another lives in the central Illinois area and I swear I'm not sure how she finds time to sleep because she is not only working herself but keeps herself incredibly involved in the community.  And last but not least, one is locally, and I didn't even realize until a few days ago she had made an offer on a house.  THAT'S A BIG DEAL!

To my friends, especially my tribe... I am so, so sorry.  I have no excuse other than to say life happens, I hope and pray you understand.  I know this is just a paragraph in this life chapter, but man oh man is it wordy and similar to a run on sentence.  I cannot wait to make the time that I NEED to make for my friends again.  One of these days... one of these days.

And lastly, to my friends... thank you for continuing to stay by my side, even when, quite frankly, I suck.  At least my kid is a cute Chewy <3

Smooches!